Sunday, January 12, 2020

Review Blood Lake (1987)


Blood Lake .
.
"Too much lake, not enough blood." - Some IMDB reviewer.

I mean they're not wrong.  But this is one of those movies you kinda gotta enjoy just for how much it doesn't resemble a movie.  Besides a kill in the first scene (accompanied by a hilarious dialogue exchange) the first 50 minutes of this movie's already short runtime feel like you're watching someone's legit vacation home movies.
There is zero manufactured drama between these characters before the killing starts. Most films will establish a bunch of soap opera-y melodrama in the first act, you know, this person has a secret, so and so is cheating on this person but this other person is in love with them, yadda yadda etc etc. Not in this film!

For like 2 acts we just watch a bunch of people who genuinely like each other hang out.  They bust each others chops as only friends do but they all seem decent.  Lil Tony is a blonde mulletted pre-teen little wise ass with quite a mouth but he's got that like-able little jerk charm.  They go water skiing... in real time.  The play quarters... in real time.  They do more water skiing... in real ass long as hell time.  Editing is for suckers.

Then, well, the killing starts but by then there is like 10 minutes left and it's not particularly gorey or anything but there is a deputy or police officer (I just know he's not the sheriff, I know this cuz he says he called the sheriff yet no sheriff ever shows up) where was I? Oh yeah this deputy hilariously barely reacts to anything including discovering 2 dead bodies. He shows up again to deliver a chunk of exposition explaining the killer's motive which also happens to be the most hilarious overreaction. Like a simple court case would have solved everything but I guess murder is more fun.

Then the final shot plays and I have never been so immediately baffled by what I was seeing.  A credit appears on screen alluding to what we just saw yet I had even more questions.  This shot was clearly an after thought because it makes literally no sense in the context of the film.  Luckily the AGFA dvd has some extras where the director talks about this.

For "so bad it's good" fans only.

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