Sunday, January 26, 2020

Review Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (2015)


Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

Do I really have to?  I'm pretty sure after taking one look at that title you know exactly what kinda film this is going to be.  That title alone conjures up a detailed picture in your mind that's going to be more accurate than anything I could describe here. That title basically rendered my job pointless, yet here I am.

When this started I was pretty sure that every actor in this was an "adult film star" (I'll have you know, excluding Traci Lords, only 2 are!) This is the kinda movie where all the female prisoners wear the standard prison garments of tight white tank tops and daisy dukes. This is the kinda film where no one knows how to drink water properly, no one can seem to get it into their mouth, it just keeps spilling all over them.

Now while I was looking up these actresses on IMDB to confirm my earlier hypothesis I was shocked as fuck to realize one of the leads, Dominique Swain, was in Lolita opposite Jeremy Irons in the 90's! Wtf!?! She was also Travolta's daughter in Face/Off! Now she shares the screen with other actors whose credits include Sexy Wives Sinsations and Sexipede!

I'm not gonna knock anyone for ending up in the film. The movie industry is a tough business and there are plenty of people who would kill to switch places.  You go get that money.  Also it's actually no where near the "skinemax" level soft-core porn film I'm making it sound like. There surprisingly is no nudity in this and frankly the sfx are better than you would expect.

There's plenty of better shark attack movies out there and most of them are probably more fun than this but I feel like it's ultimately pointless for me to come down on either side of the fence with this film. You're either going to watch Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre or you're not, nothing I say will change that.

Available on Tubi (if you must). #horror #horrofanatic #horrorlover #horrorjunkie #horroraddict #horrorfan #horrorgram #horrorfilm #horrormovie #horrornerd #movieoftheday #moviereview #instagram #instagood #instafilm #instahorror  #horrorgeek #summer #jaws #shark #sharkweek #beach #vacation #theshore #ocean  #sharkattack #sharkweek2019

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